I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
