Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
