He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
