That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
