there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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