Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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