There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
