OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
