babies were throwing up all over the place
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Green mimosas i think yes
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
