and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
