I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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