I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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