I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
