I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize