I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
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