I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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