It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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