I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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