I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
