No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
