I am full of burrito and curiosity
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
