I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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