So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
