therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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