How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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