the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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