tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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