You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize