Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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