fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just googled if crying burns calories
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
