first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
