i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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