I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
