i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
