Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
