I just made out with a guy for $7.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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