you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
