He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
