was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize