Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
