i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
