I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize