Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
