so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
