Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
