wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
