he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
