what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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