You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
