rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
