that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
