Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
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