when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
