Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
