literally had 100 drinks last night.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
