I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
