She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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