Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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