the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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