is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
