I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
