he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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