She announced her abortion via fbk
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize