A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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