Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
