no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
