after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
