During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize