i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The air taste purple.
Randomize
