Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
