Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
BRING THE BAGELS
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
