Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Moan for me like Helen Keller
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
