ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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