You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
