White coat. Heels.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
