Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize