even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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