If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize