u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
